Elliott Rodgers

Working out life one day at a time

Crazy Product Instructions

October 12th 2010 By: Elliott Tags: Bit.ly URL: http://bit.ly/pe4AXV

Some of these really, really worry me. Is mankind slowly evolving backwards and need this much help!

US Rocket Launcher:
“Aim towards the Enemy”.
(Not a lot you can say to that really) 
  
On a TV Aerial:
Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant or both.
(If you are pregnant and drunk you don’t deserve to watch TV)

iPod Shuffle:
Do not eat iPod Shuffle
(Brings a whole new meaning to the term “hungry for the music”)

On a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(How do you use a hairdryer when asleep?).

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(A shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap:
“Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(Is there another way to use soap I don’t know about?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(A suggestion?).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
“Do not turn upside down.”
(well…a bit late now!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.”
(Well I thought it might be…)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
“Do not iron clothes on body.”
(brings a new meaning to term – hot pants)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(I can see the campaign already starting…. Cut roads deaths and dont let children drive after taking this medication.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(Better do otherwise I want my money back!)

On box of Christmas lights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(erm where else would they go?)?

On Black Cat Fireworks:
“Flammable. Do not put in mouth.”
(You just know that someone will take this as permission to stick one up their bum!)

Razor Go Kart:
“This product moves when used.”
(Maybe it needs another warning about moving faster downhill?)

Kraft Cheese in a Can (Spray cheese?):
“For best results remove cap.”
(Is it low calorie if you don’t remove cap)

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool:
“This product is not intended as a dental drill in human or veterinary medical applications”.
(WTF?! Seriously? WTF?! If you are crazy enough to even consider using a Dremel as a dental drill – you need to be taken to a home for the unbelievably stupid people and they need to make sure you can’t breed!)

Dremel Rotary Tool Instructions

Dremel Rotary Tool Instructions

On a Japanese food processor:
“Not to be used for the other use.”
(PLEASE SOMEONE help me on this. I’m a bit curious. What other use?)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
“Warning: contains nuts.”
(What it doesn’t contain fruit?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Thanks for that! I was confused!)

On a child’s Superman costume:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
“Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(!?!?!??!?..There a lot of this happening?)

On a Simulated parent training baby doll.
“Do not ingest my eyeballs. ” (But hey a bit of leg or a finger is fine!)

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One Response to “Crazy Product Instructions”


  1. clare says:

    oh my am in stitches


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