Elliott Rodgers

An amusing reply to a common insult.

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt!” Soon you will be able to handle this situation…

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O.Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie, the twins Deep and Dip, Fulla, Giva and Bull Schitt.

Against his parents strong objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb , a high school drop out. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt married Mr Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, decided to keep her previous name also. She was known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda and the produced a cowardly son – Chick Noe Schitt (Chick N. Schitt for short). Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd, and Horse Schitt. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says “You don’t know Jack Schitt!. ” you can correct them.