Elliott Rodgers

I’m hopefully adding an exciting new feature on my website soon…

So watch this space.

So another spammer decided to call me out on my Spam Policy. This one really f***ed me off by spamming the page where I shared my break up with my girlfriend.

So a report has been sent off to their ISP SoftLayer Technologies in Dallas, Texas, US identifying the bottom feeding pond scum and asking for appropriate action to be taken. I will add any progress to the bottom of this blog post. I’m not hopeful of any results given that the second Google Search Suggestion is SoftLayer Technologies Inc Spam which makes me think that a big group of people are searching for the term. We shall see.

Update: What a surprise…. it seems SoftLayer Technologies from Dallas, Texas, US has the same Allen Jenkins responding to abuse emails as Uubiquity Server Solutions! Regular and observant readers will recognise this as the company (and useless) person who responded to an earlier spam report complete with the same “we’ll refer it to the customer and never get back to you report“.

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline, with it’s head office in Johannesburg, that doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s a real shame that Kulula doesn’t fly internationally, they deserve some support if only for their humour, very typically South African (never met a South African I didn’t like). If you liked these you might also want to try Aircraft Repair Reports.

Flying 101 – Captions

• aircon ducts = not that kulula needs it… they’re already cool.
• avionics = fancy navigation stuff.
• a.p.u. = extra power when you need it most.
• back door = no bribery/corruption here.
• black box = which is actually orange.
• boot space
• cockpit window = sun roof; co-captain and big cheese.
• first class windows = throne zone (more leg room baby!)
• engine #1 and #2 = 26 000 pounds of thrust.
• front door = our door is always open … unless we’re at 41 000 feet.
• fuel tanks = the go-go juice.
• galley (front of plane) = cuppa anyone?.
• galley = food, food, food, food….
• landing gear = comes standard with supa-fly mags.
• loo = or mile-high club initiation chamber.
• nose cone = radar, antenna, and a really big dish inside.
• rudder = the steering thingy.
• seats = better than taxi seats.
• stabiliser = the other steering thingy.
• some windows = kulula fans = the coolest peeps in the world.
• tail = featuring an awesome logo.
• windows = best view in the world.
• wing #1 and #2
• plane’s registration = ZS-ZWP – OK-PIK. = secret agent code

Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some apparently genuine examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot annouced, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
Read more »

Friends will tell you I never watch TV programmes like Big Brother, I’m a celebrity get me out of here etc… These past few weeks I’ve secretly been watching Celebrity Masterchef. Thanks to BT Vision and BBC Replay I didn’t miss the final and what a fantastic final it was.

I watched an episode as I noticed Lisa Faulkner was in it, an actress I’ve quite liked since she played Victoria Merrick in Holby City (I have her appearance in FHM magazine somewhere as well… ). Lisa came across as very down to earth, sweet and vulnerable and like she didn’t quite understand how she’d managed to stay in the contest. I watched it first as well to be honest she’s very pleasant to watch! (*blush*) and I’m a bit of a foodie. After watching one episode I was kinda hooked and rooting for Lisa the whole way. She surprised herself by stayed in the contest and completely surprised herself by winning!!

Her genuineness showed as the three of them waited for the results, Lisa shrugged to herself as if to say “I did my best”. When she was given the trophy (“Wow! Do I get to take the trophy home?”) and the closing moments of the final when Greg asked her if she believed she was a good cook. She replied “Well maybe quite good“.

I sometimes take Marley, a long haired Jack Russell out for a walk down the park and took this photo of him, sat on a bench looking rather thoughtful…. he was probably wondering how he could get me to give him another treat!

Marley (Sheppie's mate) sits looking thoughtful on a park bench.